Crazy for You

In the next suburb west from my family home is an old tumbledown mental institution. We used to go on Sunday drives through it, checking out the broken windowed architecture of a dumping group of what society referred to as "refuse".

Driving these through grounds, sounds weird, however I could almost "feel" the anguish, torment, terror and hopelessness of the patients - patient in their captivity only due to being heavily drugged.

Contraversially and without academic qualification, I do not believe that is appropriate to label someone as Mentally Ill.

How many people do we all know whose thoughts and feelings and sensations live outside of the acceptable societal paradigm? How any of them have been labelled genius and innovative for pushing the boundaries and seeking to breath life into absurdity?

History shows that much of what psychiatry formally considered a disorder or illness was the result of a cultural norm or bias and this perception will vary over time and place.

We are all neurodiverse. That is why we have different personalities, strengths and talents. Some argue that untreated mental health conditions can get in the way of our expressing our US ness. On the other hand, neurodiversity advocates argue that there may be more positive potential in recognizing neurodiverse subjects outside the accepted framework. In other words, it might prove more helpful to acknowledge a broader spectrum of human variation rather than approaching these variations as "mental illnesses" in need of "cures."

My questions is if physical illness or symptoms are expressed when the body trying to talk to us and trying to heal, then what is mental illness? We all own fantasies which polarise what we identify as holding value. Intense focus and skewed polarity will present as mental illness. The mental processes are not at ease - not experiencing wellness - but a swinging polarity unfetered by societal benchmarks.

Could mental illness symptoms being expressed be clues and healing opportunities in this same vein?

The concepts of wellness and illness co exist on a pendulum, which swings back and forth.

How much freedom would one experience on this swing?

Stand Tall

Silent sentinel I stand in a world that holds endless species of light.
I am Surya driving through the heavens.
You look up and imagine that you see a golden orb.
This sun is merely your own reflection.
It is your own heart.
It is your own light.
The light you seek is within you.
The light you seek is within me.
The sky of the old order fell when a bird was knocked from his perch and the deluge destroyed the people of the wood.
The sky of the new world could only be raised by an act of sacrifice.
I was the cosmic sacrifice.
I am earth and air and water.
I am fire – I burn my own wood.
I am Yggdrasil and I am the axis between worlds.
A world clock ticking endlessly: sometimes my breath is tired and rusty.
My breath can cut you as your language can kill souls.
I watch as another world rests within my bones, unseen and untouched by your kind.
I am a gateway, a lighthouse to others, a communicator for the between.
Like you.
You are the spiritual internet.
Like me.
I am both directed and yet directionless.
There is a hidden door – come closer you will see as no other can.
Enter.
Open.
There is nowhere else to go but here – yet here is everywhere.
I am Thor’s Oak. Bonafcius did not fell me but my purpose was all in the telling of his tale.
I am a wet nurse for your race, watching and supervising and protecting – you have no concept yet of how I keep you safe.
The Olympic rings were originally cut from my body symbolising the rings of truth that protect you from danger.
I am Sekhmet and I protect the land, destroying enemies with arrows of fire.
Yes I have committed crimes in the eyes of many yet I am remorseless.
I have carved death on many faces.
Sometimes death has as much a purpose as life.
You too have killed as much as you have birthed.
This is life.
I am Yax Imix Cheand, I am abundance raised in the middle of the world.
I raised the sky and I birthed what you see is the sun.
Watch me; watch how my roots are sent deep into this earth.
The deeper you root yourself the easier you will bend, ebb and flow with the tides of your time.
Like your heart, this earth upon which you walk, is kept alive by me for I hold its terrestrial intention.
This intention is a submission to the point of resistance.
I am Sól and I count the years of man.
Every particle of mine is a book in a library far reaching beyond your wildest imagination.
I am every case study you will ever need.
I am every page every written.
I am every scientific experiment ever conducted.
There is a frequency that I hold upon which this earth was formed.
A frequency that beats your very own heart.
I am Helios driving my chariot across the sky.
My faith in the magnetic force and my trust in the safety of the flow hold me firm in a constant evolution of tension oscillation.
I am Ain Soph Aur, the tree of life – without end and with light.
When I bend, I am stretching and expanding – creating more space in this illusion while contracting and nesting.
I am Freyr, the Maypole, and the phalloi that Isis could not find.
My colours are crafted in the dramas of birth and death in this forest.
My leaves grow without any thought from me.
Your heart loves without any thought from you.
It is not possible for either of us to ever be alone.
I am a circle, a never-ending line, keeping and standing where you left me so long ago.
I am Lugh and I hold all contracts written of this world.
If I so choose I can fade like a ghost and vanish. No one will ever know I was ever here.
But this will not end my life as I will live on through another seed, another pod, another root system, branching out and merging with more light.
I can be whatever I choose just like you.
You and I – we share a molecular structure so refined and complex yet so basic and simple.
Your digital world and formless currency are frequencies crafted and released by my leaves.
I am Kuker and my coarse and speckled bark forms part of my horned mask.
My reptilian skin is just one coat – just one aspect.
Every leaf that I lose is my gift to the earth.
It joins me at the base – never lost – only re engineered.
Every person that you lose from your life is your gift to humanity.
They are never lost always reappearing in another face in another time.
I am Ra and I command the sky, earth and the underworld.
Standing tall under Mintaka, his pulse is felt in my roots.
You were born under this star forever in between, in the middle of the two.
You are destined to strip my bark, shatter my myths and stand in between.
With one foot in both worlds you stand under Mintaka’s power.
Beings of light are the only words you can understand and they are around you now – watching and prodding without you even being aware.
Their home is here – not some far away planet.
The planets you see in the night sky are not real; they are your reflections – your hearts, minds, souls and bodies.
The organs in your body are the planets.
What you are seeing is a grand illusion.
When they said that God created the world in seven days, they were talking about you.
The stars that you see in the night sky are not real; they are your reflections – thoughts, feelings, purpose and intentions.
Your star burns bright.
Stand tall.

These words were written after a long conversation with a very ancient gum tree in Barkers Vale NSW on 23 April 2007.

I am Furious

This is a great word.
Fury.
I am experiencing the fierce passion of fury and the Latin verb to rage and be mad.

The Romans apparently used the word FURIAE to translate the Greek myth about the avenging deities sent from Tartarus to punish criminals. Boy can I relate to that today! ggrrrrr..

No matter how much I collapse and analyze this, I remain furious, angry, pissed off, indignant and outraged.

Why? Because hsjfrbvyuwfajdngkblsk – that’s why!

This has happened before so why am I so angry today? I mean I am SO f**king furious right now!

Am I am resentful that all my best efforts to legitimise and systemise and account and comply have seemingly been a waste of time? (Note the Crusader Warrior sneaking in here?) My first thoughts are that I have not worked in Fair Exchange, and therefore what I feel today is good old fashioned resentment. Why have I not worked in Fair Exchange?

I can list 1000+ justifications and they all hover above appreciation, value and worth. Welcome to Business 101 or more appropriately - LIFE 101.I can list positives and negatives in equal balance. What is my fury REALLY about then? This begins with me. If I do not value what I do, and slap an identification on it in a mathematical financial numerical form – a cost – then I will attract business partners and clients to me that do not value themselves either. The drive to discount or self sacrifice is a reflected self value and inspires the choices in operational and purchasing habits. Our value systems decree our preferred expression of exchange.

So if I believe that my value isn’t being recognised 100% in an expression of money exchange, in what OTHER unit of exchange is my value being recognised?

Education, Network, Freedom, Creativity are some that spring to mind. If I appreciate them, remembering that appreciation is ultimately a financial term, then my value IS being recognized. It’s all about MY value system and MY appreciation for everything that I have created. So therefore, if I look hard enough, and unzip my victim suit, I can see that YES I DO conduct my business in Fair Exchange after all.

I cannot change the values of another however I CAN upgrade how I transact with them.

So am I still angry? Yes and no.

OK I feel a little less charged. I'm more infuriatedacious now.

OK It is the same for anyone you wish to relate, serve, sell or market to in anyway. And this is the first place to begin – identifying THEIR value system.

Values are not morals or ethics. Values are a set of beliefs that we identify and define ourselves with. Where do they come from? Ultimately at birth we choose a mythology, create psychological patterns, build structures and pretty much make it up as we go along.

Some of my patterns are the warrior princess crusader, the earth mother, the guru and the naughty little girl. These are character traits that I chose. It’s important to remember that there are over 4400 character traits that have been scientifically defined and we each have every single one. What does this say about us? We are master creators who can be whatever and whoever we choose depending on the benefits and drawbacks of our environments. We are chameleons who are experts at creating our lives however we wish.

Yet humanity exists in a conscious plane of victim hood. I can’t do this because of XYZ. We all live here at some point.When dealing with people, it’s important to recognise their values, their mythology and their victim pattern. Once you see them in yourself then you can create strategies to more effectively communicate and integrate with them if you so choose.

For example, there are some sectors of humanity who express exchange in colours of control and respect because they feel old and fear they hold lesser value. We live in a changing world yet there are still many people reluctantly clinging to ancient beliefs continuing to ride dinosaurs and wearing bear skins. I think if we look closely at ourselves we can see that in some way and in some area of our lives, each of us has a dangerous attachment to a saurus of some kind. And even though we wouldn’t be seen dead in those mangy old furs, we still try them on occasionally in the dark corners of our wardrobes. ssshhh I'm getting a visual!

Therefore my fury is all about people refusing to change and upgrade for the better. That would be MY version of better by the way! My fury is about someone expressing themselves in THEIR values and not MINE. Ugh I’m starting to get this. Where do I refuse to change? Ah ..........in my steadfast obsession with compliance, accountability and systemization? Ah ha! I’m angry because my mythology of the warrior crusader who makes it all happen and fixes the world is no longer of service. Anger is the signpost of my boredom with playing that game. If I'm honest, I really wish to try something new!

I’m not angry anymore. Now I'm planning my new game.

A Real Skip

In relative terms, our country is pre embryonic. As history has shown, any country can be invaded and populated by scores of other cultures and civilizations before the die is cast and a people are born. Then the cycle continues, the cast is broken, and another breed, another choice is offered.

We are lucky enough, all of us, to be witness to the planting of the seeds. Australia could be leading the way with ONE people, ONE race, and a GLOBAL culture. We are in the throes of a great opportunity to learn from each and every culture, an Australian way of life, while being guided and advised by the latest original Australians. Our Indigenous peoples, as scattered and fractured and depleted as they seem, were themselves once refugees in this country, and now face the eternal choice made by generations of every culture and country watching the dissemination of their way of life.

We all must embrace the varying racial influences just as much as we need to accept each other and ourselves. It’s just another ripple in the never-ending tide. We’re all a part of the flow. Sometimes you need to let go of the past in order to embrace the future. The children cannot absolve the sins of the fathers. Our job is to understand the lessons and seek each other as a part of the one whole.

My ancestry is so basic compared to that of my children. The whispers in my bones echo from Irish convicts and wealthy English gentry – American Naval adventurers and Welsh servants – Celtic Princes and Yorkshire musicians. Illiterate and illegitimate. Passionate and Desperate. Oversexed and Underfinanced. Overindulgent and Underdeveloped. One generation later, however, the blood of my children flows from a far more exotic Mediterranean, Middle Eastern and Central European pool.

After a storm, the colors of a rainbow glow in pure brilliance.

And so it continues, another spice is added to the pot. We all make a shift and extend space to include another shade, another smell, and another taste. Where other races in other places and times have experienced war and suffering, surely we have the benefit of their history lesson combined with our intelligence and compassion. Where is the benefit of needlessly fighting with and within ourselves?

We will only survive and prosper TOGETHER. We all have something to lose and something to gain. But isn’t life a whole series of profits and losses – positive and negative.

My children – Our children can be part of the answer.

Ignorance is a true Educational opportunity isnt it?

A Real Job

The performing bug stretched its little wings early for me. My parents were horrified that I would never get a REAL job. They did not value the creative expression of a musician as a career option and saw no possible reward in financial fair exchange. Stubborn Capricorn ignored their wishes as usual and now this genealogy is well reflected in the voices of millions of musicians and performers around the globe. How many people in this industry have felt creatively stifled in their quest for legitimization of their choice to conduct an enterprise in this fashion?

Writing and performing music is a creative outlet and a channel for personal development.If you want to be paid for it, then it becomes a business. I love taking photographs and spend hours on the weekends locating the perfect shot and then fidgeting with Photoshop.It’s a hobby – a creative outlet and a channel for personal development. If I want to be paid for it, then I need to do a whole lot of other activities to transform my hobby into a business.

So why become a professional musician? The responses to this survey have been varied – Being cool, A strong need for self expression, need for privacy (own time, space, pace and inner world), being able to dive deeply into the sounds of someone else and regurgitate it through your own, the tribal power in mesmerizing an audience with sounds and rhythms, expanding closer to the boundaries of the universe via musical expression and experiencing the addictive high – the change in your physical vibrations when you feel like you are a part of something bigger. It’s almost like a religion!

No one said sex, drugs, rock and roll, fame or money? Oh Ok Manny did! That’s one!

A perception of Cool seems to be very important in this industry and this is reflected in CD sales, Gigs and our obsession with Celebrity. What IS cool anyway? How do you define an aesthetic of manner, conduct, vibe, look, form or style? Such a subjective little word with an enormous power in perception! There is actually no meaning only association which is deemed by some external authority. Traditional associations with cooldom may be freedom, creativity, not conforming and thumbing one’s nose at so called normalcy.

In short, cool, like most other Urban Legends, is bullshit – not real – simply made up. So being the creative little geniuses that musicians are, cool is whatever they choose it to be!

A desire for cool is probably closer to a desire for love and acceptance. Notice how individuals who have created a mythology of rejection as a barrier of protection traditionally seek acceptance in an alternative form? Artists and Musicians and Entertainers seek audiences and markets who desire to purchase their products. They seek acceptance of their creative expression. Love my art love me!

In this current ecosystem, we choose how we wish to run our business in the Music Industry. Challenges are only symptoms of the expansion of the business and the opportunity to create whatever you choose. Creativity promotes innovation.

We used to work in an industry where supply of product (CDs, Merchandise etc) were limited due to shelf space, shipping, storage etc. Now our market has an unlimited choice of what to buy and where to buy from. Product, thanks to living on line, can have a global impact instead of a local one. Anyone can set up a website, register a domain name, register any free social networking or blogging site, create an on line shop, set up a shopping cart and Paypal platform and create an On Line presence.

We live in a digital world. More devices, ever faster broadband, more channels, more platforms, faster processors, endless storage, better search engines. We live in our URLs, our MY SPACE, our FACEBOOKS, our BLOGSPOTS and haggle on E BAY, purchase our movie tickets, flights, concert tickets and sporting events on line, download our Music and Movies, order Office Supplies, Groceries, Gifts on line – let’s face it – we LIVE here! And more importantly our CUSTOMERS live here!

And just by running your music business on line, you create stockpiles of user data, product feedback, and marketing information, and this in turn generates new advertising opportunities for you. We have created a new ecosystem for ourselves.

“It is not the strongest or most intelligent that survives, but the ones most adaptive to change.” Darwin

Look at how our global humanity network is developing. On line communities such as My Space and Facebook are replacing traditional social networks and establishing greater communication and interaction opportunities like never before. The rapid expansion of the internet caught traditional music business companies with their collective pants down and they are still fighting to catch up with licensing downloads and working out Digital Rights Management issues. Is this a problem or an opportunity?

Problem solving is the opposite of creativity. When you are problem solving you are seeking to delete something you wish to avoid – a challenge or a conflict. In the creative process, you consciously take action to birth something new. Traditionally Business identifies a need, a void, a gap and fills it with a product or a service. A problem is found and a solution is offered for sale. What about the entertainment industry (movies, music, theatre, opera, dance)? What solutions does this industry offer? On the surface, none, however indirectly it functions to keep people entertained and distracted FROM their problems - therefore forming the basis of a temporary remedy – a panacea.

Our values (which are the beliefs that we align ourselves with) are driven by our voids – that which we think is missing in our lives. An outward expression of art is one form of seeking love, recognition and acceptance. What greater way to feel loved, recognized or accepted than selling CDs Concert Tickets and Merchandise?

Creating product and gigging live only happens in a business with an effective resource management system in place. Customers everywhere demand faster service. The beauty is that we live in an age where we can EASILY serve customers and run business in a more cost effective manner.

You have everything you need right here right now. You are only limited by your imagination.Imagination is what inspired you to become a musician in the first place.

The Wisdom of the Sands

This ancient Sufi story of a stream who couldn't cross a desert because it didn't want to give up being a stream really give us a glimpse into life doesn’t it? People, every culture, age, belief system, geography and socio economic group experience the challenge of facing identity and greatness while remaining unwilling to let go of who we think we really are. The fundamentals of our lives - the children born through us, the mirrors we attract through relationships, culture and networks, the challenges of job titles, enterprise, business and career and the physical universe of body, home, finances and possessions are not who we are but rather reflections of the light around us. It is our essence as water and not as a particular form such as a stream that is the truth of us.

In the 21 Century, we feel powerless -the pace of change and a sense of an uncertain future is relentless. Everyone is met with constant internal and external forces that cause challenges, uncertainty and stress. Life is filled with frequent turning points - constant changes in our careers or finances, retirement, changes in our families and lifestyles. All of these challenges are a desert providing us with the opportunity to see our greatness. This story is telling us quite clearly that the strategies that our identities we apply to our lives continue to keep us away from our truth and our greatness.This is a story about transformation.

The Wisdom of the Sands

A stream, from its source in far away mountains passing throughevery kind and description of countryside at last reaches the sands of the desert.Just as it had crossed every other barrier, the stream tried to cross this one too.

But it found that as it flowed into the sands, its waters simply disappeared.It was convinced however, that its destiny was to crossthis desert as well, and yet - there was no way.

Now, a hidden voice, coming from the desert itself, whispered: the wind crosses the desert, and so can a stream.The stream objected that it was only dashing itselfagainst the sands and being absorbed; that the wind could fly,and this was why it could cross the desert, but How can I?

By hurtling in your own accustomed way, you cannot get across.You will either disappear or become a marsh;you must allow the wind to carry you over to your destination,replied the desert. But how can this happen? asked the stream.

By allowing yourself to be absorbed into the wind, the desert replied.This idea was not acceptable to the stream,after all - it had never been absorbed before,it did not want to lose it's individuality!And once having lost it, how was one to know if it could ever be regained?

The wind, said the whisper, performs this function.It takes up the water and carries it over the desert and then lets it fall again.Falling as rain, the water again becomes a river.But, how can I know that this is true? protested the stream.It is so! replied the whisper, and if you do not believe it,you cannot become more than a quagmire,and even that could take many, many years.

In any case,it will certainly not be the same as being a stream! But, asked the stream, can I not just stop hereand remain the same stream I am today?You cannot, in any way, remain the same, whispered the desert sands. Movement is your very nature. It will never cease until your true destination has been reached.

When the stream deeply considered this,echoes of the truth began to arise in its mind. Yes, this is true.He understood that this was the only real and intelligent thing to do.And the stream raised its vapors into the welcoming arms of the wind,which gently and easily bore it upwards and along, letting it fallsoftly as soon as it reached the roof of the distant mountains.

It was now able to remember its prior dilemma in the desertand now realized the goal of its long journey,its true identity and the deathless nature of its true being.And this is why, it is said, that the way by which the stream of lifecrosses the desert of this world, is written in the sands.


So let’s look at the story again.

What is it saying to us?

What is obvious?

A stream, from its source in far away mountains, passing through every kind and description of countryside at last reaches the sands of the deserts. Just as it had crossed every other barrier, the stream tried to cross this one too. But it found that as it flowed into the sands, its waters simply disappeared. It was convinced however, that its destiny was to cross this desert as well, and yet - there was no way.Now we must go into every drop of this story and sip every part of it.

“A stream from its source in far away mountains”
You are a stream of consciousness that has flowed from its source far away in the mountains. The mountains represent the source - your origin and your flowing is the journey you have been on. You have always been in existence. You have always been this great continuity; this stream of conscious experience - journeying from the mountains and the source of its origin.

“Passing through every kind and description of countryside”You have passed through every form of life. You have been a tree; you have been a rock; you have been an insect, you have been a fish; you have been a bird; you have been a squirrel in a tree; you have been male and you have been female. You have been a cow and you have been a tiger. You have passed, in your journey, through all kinds of descriptions and countryside’s. Over all kinds of rocks, through all kinds of countryside; you are a great continuity, and you have moved through all kinds of barriers.

Finally, your journey has brought you to face your truth and to the sands of the desert. Just as you had crossed every other barrier, you will try to cross this one too - with the same old strategies that you have been using in the past. When you encounter your truth, your response is out of the same "old conditioning" that you have become accustomed to. These are your values, your beliefs, and your mythology. Now out of your same old strategies, you will try to solve the problem of the desert.

The desert represents a crisis. Sooner or later, your stream of consciousness is bound to encounter the desert - an obstacle. This desert however is unlike any obstacle or barrier that you have ever encountered before. It is crisis as well as a great opportunity for growth!

The Chinese have a beautiful ideogram for the word crisis – not in words but in ideograms (pictures). The ideogram for the word crisis consists of two smaller pictures - one representing danger and the other one represents opportunity - because a crisis is both! This is an opportunity to make a quantum leap and "transcend" all of your prior conditioning. It is only dangerous and life-threatening if you apply the same old strategies because they will no longer work. This is the beauty of the desert.

At some point in your life you will reach a crisis. When all of your strategies to make yourself happy have failed, you have entered into the desert. Nothing that you have tried in the past is working anymore - in spite of all your efforts; in spite of all your calculations and in spite of your activities - you simply remain miserable, bored and minimally satisfied. But still, you go on trying to use the same old strategies to solve what is a very new situation. You start Personal Development. You go to seminars and courses and study philosophy and wisdom. Still nothing works because you are using old strategies to solve a new situation. You are still filtering your new information through your old strategies.

You know you have entered the desert when those same old strategies that have enabled you to get through all the obstacles and barriers in your life up to this point no longer work. In the past you were able to "solve" it with a little more food; a little more sex; a little bit more money; a little more health; another husband; another wife; a little bit more information - and you were able to continue to flow and get past it.

In the past, these strategies have worked for you. Any planning or action at this point is tethered to your old strategies and WILL NOT WORK.Here you face your demons knowing some part of you must die so you can cross the desert.

You are facing a death of your identity in order to reach your greatness.You can go on trying to "console" yourself with mythology. Meditation and prayer keeps you looking for more consolation. As the stream flowed into the sand, it found its waters simply disappeared. The more you try to console yourself, the less consoled you become!

Now all of your strategies - all of your moves - simply disappear into the sands of truth. This truth is so awesome that, in spite of your best efforts to console and mythologize yourself, you simply fail. All of your strategies are just like water flowing into the sand! Somewhere deep down inside of you, you will admit there is no way for you to continue being the same person you were prior to reaching this desert.

"The wind crosses the desert, and so can a stream." The stream objected that it was only dashing itself against the sands and being absorbed; that the wind could fly, and this was why it could cross the desert. You realise that the desert is the problem. Every problem contains its answer and it "whispers" the solution to you, but you must listen to it. A whisper has arisen out of the desert - out of the situation itself - and it is showing the stream the way across the desert.

Your anger, greed, envy, disappointment, attachment, vanity, suffering, lust, fear, shame – all your identity labels and traits tell you much about yourself. They are a part of your biography. See the activity that is producing the suffering. Listen to the whispers in the crisis of your life for they contain the keys that are the solutions to all of your problems. The answer is always in the problem! By avoiding, denying the problem, trying to console and anesthetize yourself, you actually hold onto the problem.

The desert brings with it a void - meaningless and so much without purpose - you feel like you must die to it. This is your higher self asking you to face your demons so that your IDENTITY can die.Now a hidden voice coming from the desert itself whispers, "the wind crosses a desert and so can a stream." The moment you encounter your truth and greatness, you object and cling to so called logic. But at some point, this argumentative nature of yours must cease. At some point it must cease, if you are to grow. You cannot spend your whole life arguing and objecting, while your "waters" are disappearing into the sands. The stream objected that it was only dashing itself against the sands and being absorbed; that the wind could fly and this was why it could cross the desert. But how can I?

"By hurtling in your old accustomed way, you cannot get across. You will either disappear or become a marsh. You must allow the wind to carry you over to your destination", replied the desert. "But how can this happen", asked the stream? "By allowing yourself to be absorbed into the wind", the desert replied. This idea was not acceptable by the stream. After all, it had never been absorbed before. It did not want to lose its individuality. And once having lost it how was one to know if it could ever be regained.

Living in your belief system, you will not be able to cross this desert. You will not be able to achieve happiness in your current hierarchy of values. In your old accustomed ways, and with all of your standard strategies, you cannot cross this desert of unhappiness. You will simply become a marsh.

"You must allow the wind." The wind is the truth. You must allow this wind to absorb you. We are all clinging to this sense of being a separate self holding onto this illusion of being separate from existence. Our senses perceive that we are separate. We feel that we are individual, independent, existing as a parallel line with existence. Now here's a question – what will be absorbed? What are you giving up? Your ego, individuality, illusion, fantasy and mythology? What is that? Nothing – you made it all up. You have nothing to lose. What you think you have will be merely TRANSFORMED.

Just like the wind, you will be absorbed as a stream and carried over the desert, and then let fall again. Falling as rain, the water again becomes a river. But, asked the stream, can I not simply stay here; stop here and remain the same stream I am today? "You cannot, in any way, remain the same. Movement is your very nature. It will never cease until your true destination has been reached.

When the stream deeply considered this, echoes of the truth began to arise in its mind. Yes, this is true. He understood that this was the only real and intelligent thing to do. The whisper has seen many streams come to the desert and has seen how all the streams had to enter into the process of condensation - and how the wind lifted their essential waters and carried them across. How would you analyze that which you have not experienced? You have not experienced life after death. How are you analyzing it? You are in the same position as a blind man trying to analyze light; a deaf person trying to analyze music. The proof is in the experience. You must have the experience. There is no way to prove to a blind man that light is all around. With or without proof, the crisis of the desert remains.

"But, asked the stream, can I not stop here and remain the same stream that I am today?" The stream's question is also your question. "You cannot in any way remain the same, whispered the desert sands. Movement is your very nature. It will never cease until your true destination has been reached." You are a stream of consciousness. Even on a daily basis, you never remain the same! This morning, when you woke up, maybe you were in a good mood. You were feeling alright! Driving into the office encountering road rage, then you start feeling a different way. You live in a state of transformation. You are never the same. It is in the nature a river to flow. It is in the nature of a human being that its conscious experience keeps moving.

It is in your nature to move and this journey will not end until you've reached your final destination and until you become who you truly are, this river of consciousness that you are will continue to flow. You have already flowed through many different personality structures.

"And the stream raised its vapors into the welcoming arms of the wind, which gently and easily bore it upwards and along, letting it fall softly as soon as it reached the roof of the distant mountains. The stream responded intelligently and it raised its awareness, attention and energy. Nothing to do but action to take."Letting it fall softly as soon as it reached the roof of the distant mountain." Remove yourself from the whole drama of ego activity. Condense your essence, let go and allow the wind to carry you.

You had been thinking all the debris was part of you, and you had been clinging to it. What is it that is motivating your clinging? It's because you don't want to die! It is being misidentified with the form (this body-mind) that we are in, which makes us cling to it and fear death. You mistakenly cling to your body-mind however your identity is stuff you have collected – habits, likes, dislikes, preferences, opinions, judgments. None of this is essential – its all made up. You carry it as debris in the stream that is you.

It is only when you arrive in awareness, back into the domain of self-realization that you truly realize "I was never that thing that I was calling me." The thing that I was clinging to - calling it me - that was never me, at all. I have always been this "pure" consciousness of experience. I can be whatever I want. All I have to do is make it up. See it and it will be. And to live in my greatness, all I need to do is allow myself to be carried by the wind, accept my transformation into whatever form, and simply be.

Ultimate Wonder of the World

Travelling throughout the globe exposes us to the ancient and modern man made and natural wonders of the world. Infused between religion, mythology, art, nature, and science, we marvel at the great pyramid of Giza, Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China, Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon, Machu Picchu and Everest.

Yet the ultimate wonder of the world, the human body, requires no passport, travel insurance or first class ticket. There is no need to queue for access to view this wonder as we take it with us wherever we go. Look closely at its refined construction and intricate detail. We are the finest examples of design and craftsmanship incorporating elements from every architectural style. Our bodies are museums preserving history and culture in temples housing the most magnificent sacred beings.

Imagine taking a vacation to visit this wonder and researching, visiting, admiring and photographing as if on a guided tour to a sacred site on a one in a lifetime trip. What would you see? What would you appreciate?

How often do we look at ourselves in the mirror and play the “I AM” game? I am fat. I am wrinkled. I am freckled. I am tall. I am ugly. What are we seeing to play that game?

Let’s start with the definition of a game. Known to have been played as far back as prehistoric times, games are a universal part of human experience and present in all cultures. A game is an activity with some rules engaged in for an outcome.

Who wrote those rules for what a human body should look like?

My facilitator brain tells me that my body is perfectly in balance. I accept that for the comfort it provides me. As I also know that my body contains thousands of systems, logic dictates that these systems maintain equilibrium. But how about when I look in the mirror? What do I see?

Like most human beings, I see someone else’s value system looking back at me in disapproval. I see everything I dislike about my physical structure. There are things I DO like about my body however I never see them first. Why is that?

When we do a love list for our bodies, we get the opportunity to really see every part of our physical structures. In listing what we love we get to experience the beauty of us in those parts. In listing what we do NOT love we get the opportunity to appreciate the benefits of those perceptions.

For example. I am fat. I am. My body carries a protective layer of extra fat. I do not like it. How can I appreciate the beauty in that? Ugh

To start with, was I always fat? No. I have been beautiful and thin. What changed? I felt threatened, in danger and in need of protection. Various events at a critical time in my life reinforced my particular mythology of not being safe and since then I have maintained this protective layer to look after me. Where did this mythology come from? Like every other human being - my birth.

My mythology – my theology – is that I am the protector, the warrior, Penthesilea and Boedicia – an Amazon who fights battles, protects, comforts, nurtures, preserves, serves, saves and loves fiercely. The language that I use in my everyday life provides clues to this myth if you listen closely enough.

Whatever the story is, you and I have both made it up – it is an assumption, a perception, a belief – a mythology. Yet we carry this mythology within our bodies as a museum preserves its history and experience. Our perceptions filter from our senses. If we chose to create this mythology, it is only because our senses identified a need to do so in the first place.

So we have our mythology. How do we therefore appreciate the history of our physical structure?
When did it feel good to be protected?
The comfort in the Tim Tams I ate.
What were the benefits to me in this protection?
I was protected from further sexual harassment while I was gigging and broke a very dangerous sexual addiction which I was very uncomfortable about within myself.
How has this served me?
I stayed in my business, marriage, home and family life instead of running away with various men whose offers of adventure and romance would have previously been irresistible.
How has this enabled me to receive?
Time for relationships with my children, love from my family and friends, financial security, business opportunities and inspiration and motivation for my various academic, creative, spiritual and artistic pursuits.
How has this afforded me the opportunity to play?
Staying in the same space and time for the development of relationships has provided me with a deep foundation in my business and finances which in turn has provided me with the freedom to travel wherever and whenever I want.
How has this helped me to participate?
Just by being here I have participated in the many lives of the people around me: children, parents, family, friends, staff, networks and communities.
How has this opened my heart?
My heart has guided me through various emotional challenges and the many perceived rejections because of my self judgment about my external aesthetics have provided me with the opportunity of truly opening my heart to myself.

This fat has kept me safe, comforted, protected, present and real. It has kept me here in this space. How could I not feel gratitude for this gift that I have given myself? I would not change one moment of my fat experience. I greatly value and appreciate it. Being fat has not detracted from my beauty at all in fact I love my face more now. I’m not bony and hard and brittle. I am soft, mushy, comfortable and sexy as hell. Having a fatter body is also pretty hot while making love – very horny and a major turn on. (Yep thats way too much information)

Creation is dualistic in nature therefore the pendulum also swings the other way and there are just as many things that I appreciate and love about my body. Identifying these things I love and feeling grateful for them opens my heart. Opening your heart has a physical affect on your molecular structure. You feel better. You feel lighter. When you are light, the energy around you flows through you. You become a part of everything.

"Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled." -The Kybalion.

No matter who you are, you have things you like and dislike, or even admire and despise about yourself. Both things you like and dislike are going to serve you in your life, and the wisdom is appreciating this balance and being grateful for it. Our bodies are museums preserving history and culture in temples housing the most magnificent sacred beings. To love it is to appreciate what is assumed to be attractive and repulsive and simply salute the god and goddess within yourself and BE.

Feel Good

Our weather is a little silly right now. Summer will hold on and humidity will hang in the air thick and low until rain finally gives in and decides to come and share its love and bring that vital water into our environment as promised. :-) (brown nosing potential rain - a new low I have sunk to)

All of this impacts on our wellbeing which means that our circulatory systems will be working overtime and totally out of alignment. More energy will be required to address the unbalance - hence your tiredness.

There are many nasty little lergies scurrying around us as we speak.All you need to fight any lergy is a strong immune system.However as we live here and now with all the 21st century pros and cons, the reality is that our immune systems are not working to their optimum levels.

First place to start to is feel good about yourself. Pamper yourself a little:

1. Long Bath - add some sandalwood and basil oils.Once you HAVE the lergy - boil 6 oranges and 2 ginger stalks (sliced and diced)add a very hot bath. Let yourself sweat and sting for 20 minutes.

2. Get a massage - head, whole body, feet, and hands - use geranium, ylang ylang, jasmine and bergamot oils

3. Pressure Points - 3 inches down from your knee cap - find the sore spot and massage and rub yourself every 30 minutes. Find the sore spot in between your thumb and pointer and massage and rub every other 30 minutes

4. If you have a lingering headache, relieve it by getting 2 buckets of boiling hot water, add 6 drops of lavender oils into each and place one foot into each bucket for 30 minutes or until you have to run to the toilet.

5. Drink herbal teas - peppermint, ginger, chamomile or plain hot water 6 times a day

6. Drink 4 litres of water each day.

7. Begin your day with fresh juice - carrot, ginger, apple, beetroot, pineapple, celery

8. Avoid caffeine, sugar, wheat and dairy

9. East Plenty of Fruit, Soup, Salad, Rice, Curry and Stir Fry

10. Take Echinacea or Olive Leaf Extract - 4 tablets every 4 hours

11. Drink one tablespoon of Swedish Bitters every 4 hours

12. Try to avoid panadol and antibiotics and cold tablets as they reduce the efficiency of your immune system by attacking your liver to take the bodies attention away from the congested bits. Distraction isn't a positive long term remedy for health.

13. Take Valerian if you really need to address pain.

14. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: Get some loving - hugs, caresses, kisses (Oh OK not if you are in full lergy swing) and tons of sex.

Feeling loved, wanted and believed in cures EVERYTHING

Under a New Moon

I stand under a new moon.

My memories have rained with fire as my heart bellowed and exploded.
I followed Mintaka and looked beneath the dying embers of the once green flame.

I am a shining flame and can light my own darkness whenever needed. My wings are perfectly formed and are strong. My breath is deep and free. My tears are no longer for you. My tears are no longer.

I am alive. I survived the flames.

There is a new dream and a new star to align myself with. If it changes direction, I will not be lost. I will merely choose another. There are billions of stars above me just waiting to be wished upon.

My voice is filled with harmony and my song is sweet. The circle around me is filled with light.

I am fate. I decide.

Mille and the Bird

High in a tower hiding behind an overhanging jagged rocked mountainside, in a small room at the very top, lived a beautiful woman.

No fairytale name such as Rapunzel or Beauty or Belle - she was simply Mille and she had been the prisoner of an evil haggard old witch for a very long time.

Mille had no recollection of how long she had been imprisoned or how she had even been captured in the first place.

All she knew were the four faces of the moon, the four colours of the leaves of the one tree outside her tower and the movement of the stars that watched with her as she waited in her small room. The only voice she ever heard had been the wind as it howled, sang, whispered and coo-ed through the seasons.

One morning she awoke in the small room at the very top of the tower and looked out her window down at the overhanging jagged rocked mountainside and over the grey barren valley at the foot of the mountain. The leaves on the trees had burnt orange and yet the morning mist still hung insistently from each one. Mille could hear the wind as it coo-ed and aah-ed its good morning.

Today however the wind was almost singing.

It's not yet time for a wind song, thought Mille, the leaves have two other shades to grow before then and Mintaka was still hanging overhead in the twilight. However the wind’s song was sweet and beautiful and seemed to be coming from just outside her window.

Mille went over to her window and almost expected to actually see the wind singing when all of a sudden a brilliant ball of blue and yellow moved onto the closest branch of the tree that stood steadfastly outside her window. The ball fluttered in the filtered morning sun, basking in the limelight, shook its wings triumphantly and crooned even louder.

Mille’s heart missed a beat, as she looked at the most beautiful bird she had ever seen.

His chest was fluffed red and his eyes were a brilliant emerald green. In spite of her presence, the small bird continued singing and before she knew it, Mille was humming along like she had heard this song before. It was so familiar.

Mille and the small bird sat together lost in melody until the sun faded from the day and the deep blue crept across the horizon beckoning Mintaka back above the tower to once again stand guard.

The next day, the bird flew onto the window ledge holding a fresh sprig of rosemary in its beak. Mille held out her hand and the bird carefully dropped it in. It smelt of a long lost spring, of fields not yet explored and of a warm smile.

Every day the bird delivered a small token into Mille’s outstretched hand.

Three small tubed purple flowers, one black feather, a dried maple leaf, half a blue bus ticket, a jacaranda bud, a ripped section of an old newspaper showing the word THIRD and a small seed pod.

Until one day…………….

Red

You have colour!
There is colour in this place!
Out of the shades of brown and grey, tendrils of red sneak into the vacuum of apathy emanating from every pore in this place.

We have watched so many moons rise above these plants in your backyard.
Moons, which have dazzled and shone and energised.
Do you know that your moon is in Aries?
The colour of Aries is red.
You have red!You have Red in this place!

Red is ambition and initiative – bravery and courage.
The winters in our lives steal the reds and purples to cheer us up in the middle of our indifference.
Red is the colour of blood and signifies strength and health and passion.
Hidden in the lethargy, you bloomed with these fronds of Red and re energised me.
Now I have Red!
I found Red in this place!

I ask

To the Universe, We give thanks for our lives and ask your help to live as human beings. We ask you to recognize this sacred circle and hear our prayers.

Teach us the ways of respect.

To the Air and the Wind in the East, I ask you to watch over the old ones in my family. Keep them healthy until it is their time to cross over then take them quickly. I give thanks for my four children and the passage into their earth walk from my womb. Help them to continue to see each day through the eyes of a child, fill their hearts and heads with wonder and to take each step in the knowledge of the seven generations before them and the seven generations to come.

To the Earth in the North, through our feet, we draw strength from you. You nurture and shelter us. Even though we do not respect you as we should, season after season, you continue to feed us and clothe us. Again and again, we come to you, placing our feet upon your soft earth, your skin – feeling your heartbeat, feeling your lifeblood. We ask you to teach us about love. We ask you to teach us about forgiveness. We ask you to teach us about trust.

To the Moon Goddess, thank you for your gift of life to me as a woman so that for a short time, I existed as one with each of my children.

To the Fire of the Sun in the West, thank you for teaching us that no matter how dark the night, there is always light. To the Fire of the stars, and the lightning and the thunder, I thank you for continuing to re energize the earth with your incredible power. I ask that you feed our bodies with that same power and energy so that we may become healing pipelines for all who come into contact with us.

Love is not simply a groan of pleasure or a sweet word. Like the Fire, Love is fierce and demanding. Without its fire, its strength and its commitment, how can it sustain in the warp of time? I ask you to fire the love that surrounds us, breathe it to life, and inflame the passions which bring joy and pain.

To the Water and the Waves and the Rivers and the Oceans in the South, I bring every broken heart. Within this circle, I ask you to see the heart of humanity and touch it to its very core. If it be good for the masculine and for feminine, I ask you to find a way for them to come together. If it not be good for either, I ask that you find a way to release them both into new dreams and hearts.

As pines keep the shape of the wind, even when the wind has fled and is no longer there, so words guard the shape of man, even when the man has fled and is no longer there. I ask that all words between us be worth the memory and the energy and the love.