Born in the US of A....not

One of my dreams as a child was always to travel.

Since 2000, I have achieved that dream part way and have visited quite a few countries - still many many more to go.

Looking back on my journals from the first big venture OS, I have to laugh at myself as I listed my greatest lessons at the time. We were all so small minded and the first adventure occuring in the United States of America was probably a good way to dampen the culture shock. Actually in every trip, going to the toilet has occupied MOST of the adventure!

Doors are pushed OUT to go IN
East is West - Right is Left
Toilets flush DOWN not UP unless of course Sam went first then call theHousekeeping.
Toilets flush themselves
Taps turn themselves ON and OFF
There are no bath plugs.
Lights switch UPAlways arrange for Tim to visit the Restroom FIRST and arrange for 20minutes of extra activity while waiting for him.
Check out your rental car in the FIRST day not the LAST day to locate thecup holders for the driver.
Keep no less than ten dollars worth of quarters on your person at alltimes.
Five cent coins are BIGGER than ten cent coins.
The Aussie dollar may be worth just over half a US dollar, but it STILLcosts FIVE DOLLARS to get ONE dollars worth of quarters for the laundry.
Australia is a small suburb somewhere in England."Your English is pretty good considering it's your second language - whatlanguage do you normally speak?".
Alex can and will be mistaken for an eleven-year-old who can obtain achild admission anywhere in the known civilised world.
There is no such thing as TOMATO SAUCE - only ketchup.
On American radio there are only two types of music played - LATINO andCOUNTRY.
Destiny's Child and 98 Degrees are IN (remember this is 2000)
Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys are OUT (ditto)
VAN HALEN will be forever included on American Radio Playlists.
The BIGGEST radio hit currently in LA goes like this: "Who let the DogOut - Woof Woof Woof Woof" (Repeat 20 times to hear the entire song) - eventually we ALL got to know this song in OZ didnt we?
Australian children have a genuine psychotic fear of parents who know allthe words to every 80's song played on the Highway Grand Canyon radio stationand who sing them LOUDLY for five hour stretches.
Always order coffee WITH milk and SUGAR if you don't want it black.
Orders must include one of the following: TO GO - ON THE SIDE - STRAIGHTUP
OVER EASY is about your eggs and not your personality.
Common Courtesy and politeness like Good Morning and Thank You areig nored.
A dollar Bill ALWAYS gets attention.
Another way of receiving attention is to drive down a one way street on the wrong side of the road...SLOWLY...
And always expect to meet the rudest most ignorant Hotel Manager on your
very last night in America - "No there are only TWO beds available - take it orleave it!" - and crying and yelling don't change a thing.

Welcome to America!!!