Becoming Unstuck

I've been really feeling stuck for the past month. So stuck in fact that I havent been able to function in the business of my life as I usually can. The pattern in my life has been to suppress my STUCKEDNESS and just keep going as a responsible member of humanity is supposed to do right?

Well, during the month of May, it became impossible to continue to just keep going as per usual.

I didnt sleep. Sobbing occupied midnight to 6am. I avoided intimacy on every level. I experienced major panic attacks when my boys played rugby. I completely rejected one of my son's in my life. I worked day and night only going home to sleep. I avoided as many social activities as possible. Not only was I uninspired, however I couldnt even muster up any MOTIVATION to go to work at the office or do any sort of housework at home. In social situations that I dragged myself alone to, I became contraversial, obnoxious, drinking way too much and simply didnt bother with my usual nurturing of the group. I felt lost, alone and unloved.

All this time I worked with OTHERS to balance these very feelings. Yet my balance was lopsided.

I owned a house in the city - a very old heritage cottage which - yes - it is haunted. We moved our business into the top level - great location - heaps of space - a very funky office. The more time I spent there the more I noticed more activity with Vincent, our resident ghost energy. (the name just seemed to fit - no idea where it came from)The noises, scraping, scratching, banging and chilliness escalated and the business and the team began to experience unusual negative transformations.

A friend of mine who is a kinesiologist and a trained Hindu/Buddhist master gave his opinion about our experiences with Vincent. In his philosophy, Tibetans believed that in death, a soul trapped in between the dimensions is stuck in a state of flux. Perhaps when Vincent died he was infatuated and/or resentful and this kept him trapped and stuck in this energy field of flux - in this house - for whatever reason. Thoughts, (our logic), Feelings (our emotions) and Sensations (our physical body senses) hold vibration and frequency. Perhaps his fearkept him STUCK in between living and dead? Never having died, I have no clue - just making this stuff up!

As a certified facilitator in The Demartini Method®, I have been trained in how Infatuation and Resentment are powerful motivators, balancing each other and serving to cycle our behaviour. The Demartini Method® is designed to balance the charge of the infatuation/resentment, raise the vibration to an equilibrium and becoming light so I figured I would use the method on Vincent by surrogating myself with fascinating results.

Vincent was mirroring ME where I have been feeling stuck. This was actually all about me and Vincent was MY surrogate. So I used the TDM on myself and faced my own demons. It took me a while to do it, but when I embraced my own darkness in this house I no longer saw that it was dark and actually felt more of my own light and the power of THAT was overwhelming. I was SO afraid of my power and allowed myself to believe a mythology that was a lop sided perspective and only 50% correct. When I owned the space and gave Vincent the options of becoming light or flesh, I was actually opening myself up to my OWN options.

When the exercise was complete, I walked through the house and felt safe, light and at peace for the first time in my experience of it. For the first time I did not feel like anyone was watching me as I left the office.

The following morning, upon arrival, the office was in darkness a it had lost power during the night. Whether this had something to do with the rain or Vincent's energy transformation or MINE, I have no answer. However I "felt" different - Brave somehow, and peaceful.

Thanks Vincent for showing me where I felt "stuck"!